I shall begin my flagship venture into Water Ice blogging with a quote, courtesy of "Mary Kay "In All Seriosity!" (commenter on yelp.com), who writes, "Much like the red-breasted robin, Rita's italian(sic) ice is a glorious harbinger of spring. When she flings open her doors, bluebirds flit about, draping ribbons over the custard machines." Few men (by that I mean "Man," not males), and certainly not I, could put it more beautifully than Ms. Seriosity. Plato himself certainly must have envisioned Rita's backlit sign as he contemplated the universal visage of spring on the horizon. As a lone bassoon wails in its upper register, announcing the ancient ritual of life's return to Earth, mini-vans driven by soccer moms (hockey moms?) creep forth from their winter lairs to feeding grounds, hungry for frozen corn syrup and ready to resume humankind's endless march towards glory.
I would like to think of myself as a naturalist, building upon the work of one Charles Darwin and his study of finches. Though the metaphor becomes clouded (are my finches the robin, as in Mary Kay “In All Seriosity!” states, the hockey moms, or the water ice itself?), I aim to capture an element of the phenomenon that is the opening of Rita's Water Ice in the Philadelphia area, and if I cannot offer a post-structuralist analysis of or discover the sociological origins of the franchise, I can at least savor some sugary sweet goodness.
Before I begin my review, here is an explanation of my grading system. It is as follows:
5 – An excellent flavor; unique merit, universal appeal, exceptional taste
4 – A very good flavor; complex elements, many virtues
3 – An above average flavor; noteworthy elements, but not exceptional
2 – A bland flavor; not much to celebrate, but with redeemable aspects
1 – A bad flavor; multiple negative elements
0 – A horrible flavor; no redeemable qualities
I have shied away from using a letter system for the scale because of the obvious implications of merit associated with academic grades in today's world; anything less than an A is viewed as a shortcoming in today's cutthroat school system, and I would very much like to distance myself from such notions of “quality.” Rather, I would like to grade on a more honestly subjective level, acknowledging the impossibility of objective study and of myself as a partial viewer. I tried to capture the aspects that I enjoyed, and account for individual tastes that might enjoy a taste that others might view as “invalid.”
For my review, I will be challenging one of Rita's two new season-launching flavors, Florida Orange (the other being Chocolate Chocolate Chip). And a challenge it is; step up this bold new offering unprepared, and you may be surprised at how quickly it knocks you back into your seat. Florida Orange is not for one who doesn't like their ices sweet and tart. This ice is aggressive, and the first bite caught me off-guard; the burst of sour orange flavor nearly overwhelmed me after a long, hard winter spent sans Rita's. Those hoping for the taste of fresh oranges should seek elsewhere; my first thoughts were of Gatorade, Energy Drinks, or lightning strikes. It also brought to mind last season's Swedish Fish, a delicious but equally intense offering.
Despite this flirtation with excess, Florida Orange welcomes repeated tastings, and I quickly settled into enjoying its assertive flavor. It is hardly Rita's most subtle offering, but it is still one that I enjoyed working my way through. When eaten at regular intervals, the flavor of oranges (the fruit, not the Gatorade “flavor”) becomes more apparent. As with many of the Rita's flavors which include “Real Fruit,” I found the infrequent flakes of what felt like orange peel to be more distracting than helpful; Florida Orange especially suffers for the infrequency with which the rind is scattered throughout and the texture, which, rather than expanding the overall sense of the ice distracted from the smooth, minimalist aesthetic that initially drew me in to the flavor.
As I neared the bottom and the water ice began to melt, it became a bit more difficult to endure. The artificial aspects of the taste overwhelmed the redeeming orange character, and it felt more like drinking a glass of melted Fla-Vor-Ice Pops than eating water ice. In my excitement for Rita's reopening, I ordered a large cup, but a more particular taster might sensibly opt for a smaller size. Water ice should never leave the taster feeling overwhelmed or exhausted, feeling which are inevitable when battling Florida Orange in a large.
The Bottom Line:
Not for the feint of heart. A good departure from Rita's more typical water ices. Those looking for a complex flavor to savor will be sorely disappointed. Rather, it is a intense, refreshing flavor to combat the heat of mid-July.
Rating: 3/5
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